


Resolution

by pietro



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening
Genre: Angst, F/M, Flashbacks, Loss of Trust, Reunions, Sad, Secrets, Surprises
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-12 18:52:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9085336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pietro/pseuds/pietro
Summary: It takes a whole six long years to met her love again. A man she loved with her whole heart only for one thing. To make her heart broken for long time with painfull reminds about their time together. Only Maker knows what happend between these six years seperately.





	1. Long time ago

**Author's Note:**

> Hello to all people who takes courage for reading this fanfiction. To be honest I must say that I never write anything something like this before. Any story... So this is my first written story and I put up things I have in my mind. I hope you will forgive me my terrible English grammar because I have different native tongue. Hope that you will enjoy this and simply let your comment about your minds and I will apreciate If you leave comment with pointing to my grammar mistakes so I could fix it. 
> 
> Story is happening in Vigil's Keep but after six years since defeating Archdemon. Female Elf warden take her duties in Amaranthine (canon of Awakening is not right after Origins). Alistair was crowned as King in Landsmeet and he couldn't take part in final battle. He was too valuable for Ferelden. But he make some hard decision by Eamon's advice before Landsmeet.

**17th Ferventis, Vigil's Keep  
**

 

 **"Your highness! What brings you to place like this especially in these unexpected time?"** she heard mumbled behind her door. She recognize that voice belonging to seneschal of this keep.

 **"My duties, sir! I am looking for the Warden-Commander of Ferelden's grey wardens. I have just few questions and I want to officially say welcome to our new leaders of wardens."** when she heard that words she just lost her own. Six years but pain in her heart can't be lost even after that time. She already feel like anguish has fillen her heart.

* * *

_**"I do not know what will happen tomorrow when the landsmeet is over, but I-... we should-... I want to say just -ugh"** Alistair slightly coughed and she saw how his chest was inflates, obviously because what he gonna say requires greater courage. **"Well you know, Ferelden need a heir and I-... I am already a royal bastard and half-efl too!"** What he was thinking? She was born as elf into this world! Not him! She was that one who must suffer all of that disparagement of her race. At least he hasn't sharp ears. No one will call him a knife-ears slave like her and others in same kind. She knew what he wanted to say, she knew it a long time ago. Everyone knows that will happens after all. She was a elf and grey warden too. That's too much for everyone. She was stupid and blind when she wasn't listening what Wynne told her. Maybe if she was listening, maybe it would not hurt it now, maybe... No it is not matter now. She was naive and deeply desired for someone who will love her as her father loved her mother. No these thoughts wasn't important right now, because she already knows what he want told her, in spite of all that promises what he claimed those nights under tent.  
_

_"_ **Alistair-"**  she told more gently although her heart was in flame. " **I know what you want to say-... I mean I understand you duties but-..."** She saw flash of confusion in his eyes just for moment. He don't want it! He don't want it too but he did it! He speaking that words. Trying to say it to her, trying to break his promises whose he gave it to her in those nights. Promises which was means for their future. Future where they would be together. Unfortunately, it seems that none of this will happen.  
  


_" **Evril** **-"** he said it so passionately but that word coming from his mouth make her pain more than hurts what she experienced as a child. He raised his arms to catch her cheek but she step away. His hand go down as his shoulders and she can told myself that he must feel so miserable. If she allows him to touch her that touch will hurt more as she can handle it. **"I don't want it! I never want to be a king and you know that!"** he raised his voice " **You was the one who put me into this! You made your own decision to involve me into this-..."** he showed the around with his arms while she Realized that all the space around it slowly choked her. " **This all-"** she heard as he heavily exhaled. " **Eamon says it would be better when we- ... When we ending what all of us could destroy"** She thought knows how it will hurt, but she was wrong. That pain was incredible, suddenly it seems that everything around her was irrelevant and all she wanted is escape. Run from this chaos. Run from this damn castle. From city. Especially from him. from her love. Love which was mean a whole life for her. " **Believe me, please-... I don't wan it!"**   he raised his voice as he passed his hand through hair. **"After our time together I realised that the only thing I've always wanted, which I wanted with my whole life was wakes up every morning next to you but ... "** His gaze fell to the feet, little wish that she could disappear like soul in fade. Hide myself away and request Maker let the pain and frustration passes. She feel tears gather in corners of her eyes. _ \- You cannot cry! no! he is not worthy of it! - _she repeated the words in her head like a mantra, words that should make her strong again. " **I do not know what to say, I do not know how to express myself. If I will reigned so there is no way how we could be together, except-... well- ... -ehm "** Despite situation, that bastard let suggestion her this? Make his personal mistress from her? **"You know, there is one possibility way. Although we cannot be together officially as a couple, I mean in public. But- ..."** Hope that he's not thinking that she will continue to do delight for him in the shadow of someone else ?! She isn't angry right now, but she is disappointing what he is suggested. _ \- what if I mean to him like temporary pleasure during whole time? I am so stupid that I fell for him - _comes to her mind._  
  
**"No!"** She said sharper than she wish. She felt that her whole body is on fire. Thanks him. **"We end it now, without a future. I do not-..."** her voice failed as she looked down. **"Consider it as forgotten. As if we've never met before"** \- Like those days when we were together never happened - _tried to suppress her emotions, but she failed._ **"Don't worry. After landsmeet you never see me again. You can forgot me as you wish"** She turned away when he grabbed her hand. His previously touches been feeling so fine, but now it burned on the forearm.  
  
  
" **I don-... I dont want forget about you. "** he stuttered **" I love you and I always will, please allow me to see you again after all. I need to know that you are okay when it all ends. Maybe I manage to persuade Eamon and we may find a common path-... "** Another deep sigh as she saw that he dropped his shoulders. She never seen him so dejectedly before, but it meant nothing to her now.  
  
**"The choice you already made, that choice was mean to be ours!"** she must keep calm and end this conversation before she fell apart. She make deep breath and try to make her voice stable " **I guess you should consider this as our last goodbye"** She cannot resist it further, all the emotion she try to hold come to light. All that time with him, everything that she felt for him was suddenly gone, far away from her. From her heart just because of one's choice. - Maker, give me the strength to leave with pride, please give me that strength - _she felt ashamed. Ashamed of myself, as her tears flowed down before a person which knows it slides gone. From man of whom she thought loved her. She looked away and blinked letting get the tears from her eyes. She snatched from his grasp forearm and walked gone. Away from it with a sense of sadness, a feeling of betrayal._  
  
" **Evril!"** she can heard pain in his voice " **My love. Please, I'm so sorry. Don't leave me here alone, without you"** She could feel his eyes on her back. He must be staring. So she tried to swallow bitter in her throat and gather the last strength of her own pride and turned around to face him.  
  
**"Goodbye Your Majesty"** attempt to slight bowing before future king. She wanted to humiliate him. Neither a king cannot have what he want. She couldn't say nothing more. The last time she looked into his eyes before she left. She saw starting tears and pain. But not more as her own.  
  
She had to go, make sure to be prepared for what's coming. Forget about what happened. Forget the last few months and prepare for the final battle.  


* * *

 

She heard some minor knock on the door and she tried to prepare yourself for what will come. Taking some deep breath and looked out the window. Sun was going down and the sky is poured with last flicker of golden color. She found herself wondering if his eyes after so much time still maintain their beautiful colors. - Don't do it! Don't think about him like that! he already left you once and he is here  only because of his own obligation! - She hoped that when he will step inside she will have enough strength to turn around and face to him. She couldn't let be herself defeated of her own fears and desires.   
  
**"Commander! Let me introduce myself. I am the K-..."** he was saying it while he opening door and she could hear as his breath was stopped by looking on her back. She figured out that he recognized her. Suddenly she felt so small and naked before this man. Of course just emotionally. She will never take down clothes before this bastard again. And in one moment she want to disappear. **"Oh Maker, it's y-..."** his gaze was cutting her. He still not said her name but she already felt as her knees go weak. She slowly turn around and see his looks. He was staring at her like she was some kind of idol what evoke a fear to him.  
  
" **It's honor to me saying welcome you, Your Highness"** said with the most sharpest tone and try to make eye contact with him. She hoped that he will not heard her weakness in her voice because she needed to end this so sooner as she can before he find out...  
  
Just Maker knows what she was expecting to see on his face. Maybe afraid? Disappointment? But she certainly wasn't expecting this slowly raising smile on his face.  
  
**"My Evril"** he said with exhausted voice.  
  
  
_  
_

 


	2. Believe me, I'm sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hope you will enjoy this chapter more than that previous. There will be little argue but nothing terrible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Grammatical mistakes will be fixed later :)  
> For records, I'm still learning about best form of writing.

**"My Evril"** he said with exhausted voice.

  
It took a long moment before she managed to exhale all the air from her lungs. The way how he said her name reminded her the old days. It was difficult to keep her view of his eyes, and don't move for her own fear that he could find out her secret. She had to admit to herself that the times when she was selfish were long gone. Now she has in her life much more responsibilities and she cannot afford to falls again for this man. A man who has already failed her. But the way as he said her name. How dare that bastard usurp her? He can also regrets his own decision which was managed six years ago?! _-No. -_ she couldn't think like this. No more.

 **"Do not say it again."** she seen glimpses of pain in his eyes as she said that. She needed support, something that will help her increase her determination. **"You can swipes with all your titles, Your Highness- ..."** she made sure to emphasize the last word as she put her hands on the desk for finding sufficient support. He frowned, obviously it worked. **"But never-... I said never! Never talking as if I belongs to you."** she took the courage and said with all determination **"Those days are gone"** said while she exhausted bent her head. She couldn't face him.

She didn't hear as he passed over this short distance from door but she felt a touch on her shoulder. For a brief moment she wanted to let his shoulders embrace her body. She needed protection.

 **"Please listen to me! ... I didn't come to fight with you again, you need to listen to me. I didn't know that you are the Commander of the Grey Wardens here!"** He looked around the room as she looked up. **"I'm not expecting you here. If I knew you were here ..."** he whispered as a prayer to her face. Well, she won't make the same mistake as when she did, naive during the time of chaos. He already had a chance and now she lives for someone else. For someone who already has a big place in her heart and he deserves all her attention. 

**"Take away your damn hands from me! "** she shouted, pushed him away with her right hand. She needed a distance from him. Certainty. **"I will not listen to any your lie, your majesty!"**

**"Oh ... so instead of giving me a chance to tell you something, you will harass me with title you gave me yourself ?!",**  he raises voice and she have noticed how he straightened chest and gave her his toughest expression. It seems that those six years apparently learned him how to be heard.

Despite her anger after the Finals battle of Fort Drakon, she wasn't renounce all her friends. Once the battle was over, she disappeared. For her own and others good. Thank the Maker she had a faithful friends who went with her. Except one. She begged Wynne for telling to court, that she needed rest. so, that was officially reason why she wasn't on his coronation. They stood by her during the battle, while that tall bastard has indulged himself in cheese and,she was sure about that, let foolish womens to warm his big royal bed. Or maybe he didn't want lose time so he was willing to pay bitches from Pearl. Whatever. She doesn't care about that at this moment. Although she never directly participate on his coronation and strictly refused her own participation in the court, she was witnessed of his reign. Not directly. She heard people passing by as praising the new King, almost adored him. _\- Man from common?! nothing more than his other lie. They will see. -_ it was all what persisted in her at that time. It was a long time ago.

 **"Don't you dare to pretend as If it was all just my choice!"** practically screams because she didn't let anyone to insult her, **"Do not think that you are come here after six years and the only thing you are saying is' My Evril' .... I hope you didn't think that I will just jumped around your neck as If nothing had happened ?!"** She noticed how he wants to say something but she raised hand as a sign that more words is coming, she needed to continue. He is not the only one who had over the years learned to communicate with people and promote own ideas in society. She was Commander of the Grey Wardens, after all. **"All those months you had told me all those things and everything what you feel about me only to take advantages of our relationship!",** she watched as a pain crept to his face. She knew that pull these things up as an argument is not correct but she had to get it out of yourself. Right now.

 **"You used me, and pushed me away such as bitch of some brothel, tell me why you suddenly look so pitiably when you saw me? There is not enough whores from the court, that you used them to warm your bed ?!"** , she yelled as a small child.

 **"What are you talking about? I hope that you don't think that I'm just utilised-...",** she saw how unreadable emotions take control of his face. Mostly pain.

 **"You know very good what I am talking about! You have lucky that you got that crown on your head, in other way you would have already lay on this damn floor with a hole in your chest! And i Don't care if you will let them execute me because threatening against crown."** He wouldn't do that. She was sure about that. Whatever, If there has already been some truth about his emotions leading to her or not, she was still the Hero of Ferelden. A beloved king or not, the public would destroy him If he jeopardize her. She went rise a warning finger when he spoke loudly.

**"Do you really think that I would hurt you?! I will never do that!"**

As he said it, just for while she regret the pain what cause these words, but she couldn't undo. **"But you already did.",**  she sighed resignedly. This will gonna be long and she needed to end it soon.

 **"Please let me explain it. All this time you were gone, I realized as huge mistake I did and tried to correct it, please. Let me tell you. You were nowhere to find and-..."** he wasn't far from point when he will kneel front of her and beg. He reached for her hand but she did quick step backward.

 **"I am not interested in your words and excuses. The choice you made years ago and I am sure that you are comfortable with. Look at you!",** she said with severity showing the theatrically on him from feet to head. **"Maric's brave bastard wears a crown and drive away all the people who took care of him"** , said to him.

His attitude towards her was clear but she didn't think that once he receive a crown so he will forget about friends.   **"They all came to her funeral except you!",** she said that while she was pointing a finger on him. **"She thought of you as a son. Can you imagine how would some mother feel if her own son didn't come in the last minute of her life ?!",** she can felt pushing her tears to eyes at the memory as she spoke that. **"Even, when blight was over she was defending you! She told me let I go back to you. For talking. She refused to believe as I do what a man you changed. A man who exchange love for chair-...!",** she lost voice.

He almost yelled on her, **"You think that it's not bothering me?! Neither one day won't pass when I regret all things I did!-..."** he said as he banged fist on desk. **"I -... I wanted to come, really wanted to but there was responsibilities in Bannor and -..."** He held his nose root, when she interrupted him. It's is three years from funeral and he still continue to deny ... feeling more than anger, she feels disappointment in her heart. Not for myself, but for Wynne.

 **"Enough!"** she said peculiar. She needed get this conversation on her side, her hand grip belt for taking courage. **"It was really enough. I am not interested in the past anymore. I'll tell you clearly and concisely."** needed to get rid of him. Take some time, few deep breaths, tried to not make much noise. Although she was sure that the whole keep already knows about their conversation.

 **"We will skip all these formalities which makes you came, so you will be able to go back into your Denerim and continue with your favorite obligations even today"** , she could feel more and more tears gathering on her cheeks. First time, it was him who pushed her away. Now it would be her. Putting her straight face as she began **"As commander of the Grey Wardens  I receive welcome from the crown and I'm sure that If some problems arise with darkspawn, then we will inform, Your Majesty."**  

She saw that he wanted to say something to defend himself, when his chest stiffen and he open mouth. But he failed it, because there were interrupted. It happened what she don't wanted. Side door of her office was slightly open and both could hear the boy spoke with a low voice.

 **"Ma?-..."**  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can leave your opinion in comment. Thanks ♥

**Author's Note:**

> If someone ask why I wrote this in English and not in my native language then the answer is simple... I want to share this minds with more people and in my native tongue is this task impossible. I was forced to edited the whole text thanks specifically phrases and idioms which I used in my native tongue and sometimes I cannot find match in English version so maybe you can find some tenses without point :D sorry for that. So it will make me feel better If you leave your opinions about writing next chapter or simply let this work be and find another hobbies :) Sorry again for my English ;(


End file.
